You want your wedding to be perfect – what bride doesn’t? It is the day you celebrate the special love that you have for one another with your family and friends by your side. But it probably wasn’t until you started making your plans that you realised the immensity of the task before you… so many things to do, so much to consider.

Of course there will be times when you feel overwhelmed – and that too is perfectly natural. But it’s then that you must remember that you are not alone. Those who love you will understand and share your passion for a perfect wedding day, and they will be a wonderful source of inspiration and support. Your dream and their love will lead you on…

Our guess is that even if someone has warned you how much is involved in organising a wedding, the reality of it all hasn’t quite sunk in yet. So, now that you’ve touched down from the euphoric few weeks that followed your engagement, it’s probably a good idea for you to catch a glimpse of the bigger picture of wedding planning.

First piece of advice? Start the preparations early … and trust us, there’s no such thing as too early. If there’s twelve months to go before your wedding date, that’s perfect. A long lead-in gives you a couple of key advantages. Firstly, you are not under as much pressure so you get to enjoy every last moment of this exciting time (and so you should).

Second, you have the luxury of being able to thoroughly explore your options, and to pick and choose service providers. This means that you can create the wedding of your dreams, and get the very best value for your money at the same time.

Sound good? Then let’s start.

You’ll quickly discover a morass of unofficial rules and regulations regarding weddings that’s loosely labelled as etiquette or tradition. Sometimes confusing and often contradictory, this maze of wedding how-to has (if you let it) the power to change your wedding from a simple “let’s get married” to “yes, but only if we know where Great Aunt Mary should sit.”

If you allow what not to do concern you more than saying “I do”, you might miss out on the joy of what should be one of the most wonderful days of your life.

Many modern brides are now feeling freer to take on board as much or as little tradition as they choose, and to express that tradition in new and exciting ways.

So with this in mind, you first need to consider what you both want for your wedding. You’ll no doubt be getting all sorts of advice from all sorts of people – but when it comes down to it, this is your wedding, your day, and it can be anything you choose. Are you thinking formal or casual? Country charm or urban chic? Will you have a cast of hundreds, or is this to be a small, intimate affair with just you two and a handful of your nearest and dearest?

If you’re feeling a little confused about your wedding day options, you’ll find plenty to inspire and excite you at a bridal fair or exhibition (the dates and locations of forthcoming events are on our website). Set aside a day to go along and check out what’s what. Not only will you have the opportunity to see the latest fashions and trends, you can also ask seasoned industry service providers for advice.

Some brides with busy schedules and heavy work commitments choose to enlist the support of a wedding coordinator. There’s nothing like having a little expert help to get you to the altar feeling calm, cool and collected – and you can either delegate complete control of your event to the coordinator, or split the ‘To Do’ list between you.

Setting the date is another priority. What date will you both be happy with? Would you like to marry on the anniversary of your first meeting or engagement? Is the season important to you? For example, a winter wedding can be a chance to give your creativity free rein. Think mulled wine, an open fireplace, and a cream coloured velvet gown … pure magic, pure romance!

And while we hate to bring up the less than romantic subject of money, it’s something you’ll both have to think about as you set your wedding budget. Traditionally, the bride’s parents pay for most of the wedding, but these days it’s not uncommon for the groom’s family to contribute half the costs. Have a one-on-one with your respective families to find out what approach they might have in mind. Alternatively, some couples either contribute towards the cost, or pay for their own wedding.

A useful start to budget building is for you both to write down the six aspects of your wedding that you feel are priorities. Rank them in order of importance, then compare notes. Hopefully, there will be some matches and these are the items that will go to the top of your budget list. The remaining items will require further discussion and negotiation … but play fair and be flexible!

One of the secrets of creating a fairytale wedding is to pay attention to detail – and an efficient and effective way to do this is to write out a carefully considered timeline (start with the planners included at the back of this book) so that you know exactly what needs to be done and when. Include as much information as possible to ensure that nothing is forgotten or left until the last minute.

Planning a wedding is hard work. Ask anyone who’s been there. However, while you’ll have lots to do between now and the time you walk down the aisle, try very hard not to become bridezilla in the process. Tell tale signs can include gasps of panic when you phone your wedding service providers, and the way your bridesmaids start to quake when you walk into the room. Stress does funny things to us all, so no need to feel that you alone are undergoing a Jekyll and Hyde experience. Just remember to keep things in perspective, don’t lose your sense of humour, delegate where possible, and most important of all … enjoy! 

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